Among the first things I learned by reading the blogs of many mothers is that there comes a time that no matter what you do or have done any "online education" you try to apply any certainty, every belief and every connection will falter under the blows of the "terrible twos".
Joking apart from many states of delirious behavior of children who until recently was the first safely manageable, lively, happy with some whim that ended in a reasonable time.
In fact, the period at the turn of two years is a very special time for parents who see their puppy from a still very small, the other to acquire greater autonomy, and the baby begins to grow and be in some sense conscious, so eager to do it alone and decide for yourself. I'm not an expert pedagogical considerations will not do so because they do not match up but let me tell you how I see it on this and I got the idea that surfing the Net.
First we mark this post of Mammafelice who helped me to understand much better what were the terrible twos ( here mammafelice find other articles on the subject), then I refer you to articles Genitoricrescono on " development and behavior, are not closely related to the theme of the terrible twos, but we are talking about children's behavior, if you do not already know this site I think might be interesting reading.
few days ago, one of my daily readings I unbeaten in yet post on terrible twos and one of the phrases that struck me was "a step that is putting a severe test our patience and our belief of anti-authoritarian and libertarian pedagogy." Until just before Christmas we also crossed the fateful period of the whims and shouted NO to anything, seasoned by a few "leave me alone and crying inconsolably. We also believe that the best way to help our son to be an adult who can make their own decisions with a critical eye and attention to himself and others, is not to suppress and stifle it by imposing a ban or discipline, but to help Conduct, to understand the consequences of their actions and to act accordingly, with him playing the game of life and slowly let alone lead himself, always ready to welcome him.
's why we do not believe in whims, in our view are an urban legend, a prophecy of self-induced. Let me be clear, we know that when he cries for nothing and it's hysterical to every word, those gestures are defined whims, just our opinion the word "fad" has negative implications that often are given, are unjustified. We believe that a mode of communication that expresses a need, a hardship and ask for help because they alone can not cope. MEANS NOT give it WON. Often this statement, we do deserve the label of weak and permissive parents but no one asks whether or not there is intentionality behind education. It does not seem (to most), but there. Matthew does not get what he wants by the whims, but it gets our time, our attention to give him what he really needs at that time (trivially: hunger, sleep, boredom, frustration often closed by the star at home when he is unwell a pains, colds who does not sleep well ...). We try to explain that is not crying and stamping her foot and you get the things but talking about and with patience. We can not ask him not to give him patience, we can not ask him to consider "our rules" without building together, we can not ask without having confidence in him and in his ability to express his needs.
This is not easy, indeed, make a tremendous effort, do you think the other day I burst into tears for fatigue (I had woken up at half the night and I have not slept too concerned about asthma attacks puppy).
But that's what we believe is the best thing for Matthew, is our natural way of being parents, we believe we do.
Since it is not easy we have taken a few tricks to stand firm and do not dodge, let's name things that happen. For example, knowing that the word "fad" has a certain meaning for us, helps us to better address the moment, knowing that there is a moment, the "terrible twos", which is not you that has made some serious mistake education (without stop questioning and conscious of the fact that, even if that would be recoverable as puppy has only two years, the important thing is not to stop questioning) but your baby is growing and wants to understand what it can do by itself, helps us to fight the frustration of not knowing what to do and instead do the only thing possible to be near him.
few tricks, however, we have used it, no we're not overwhelmed by the avalanche facts;)
The watchwords were: sweetness, to show that there is no need to deal with hysterical situations; firm to help him understand the error and help you to be patient context and confuse, to dampen the peak hysterical and help him calm down, sometimes once you start it difficult to stop because it took over the tiredness of too much crying, then "just love to cry, you forgot that we had to leave .." and making "'na head and talk" goes into another room and change activities. The trick
true, however, be strength and each other, talk and ask, when you need it, help outside the family, talking with a friend who has passed us, browse through the blogs of mothers who so lovingly put available to all their experience, out the park and talk to other moms honestly, will do well to you and to them, that for once will not have to pretend to have the perfect child but can let off steam and as you know "joy shared is a pain."
I could not I write a post on this topic, also to thank the many parents who have done it before me and helped me not to go crazy at times.
Another thing that I think might be useful is that you have passed the critical moment a child wonderfully peaceful, that will amaze you with the progress it has made. And you? will be even stronger.
Note to myself: read and store in case of relapse.
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